Helpful Internet Sites

I am currently working on compiling a list of websites I found helpful before, during, and after our son's adoption. Before the list is compiled and posted on here, please feel free to contact me if you are searching for a website and can't find one regarding a specific topic- I may be able to direct you to one.

Adoption Airfare

We worked with a travel agency that specializes in humanitarian and adoption travel. They are Golden Rule Travel and here is their information:

Golden Rule Travel

P.O. Box 178

Walnut Creek, OH 44687

(800) 950-3599; www.goldenruletravel.com

We worked with Sharon Martin and she was thorough in checking all possible flight options to get the most affordable price. She even checked flying out of Chicago (we’re out of Metro Detroit) to give us all of our options. Anyway, I would make contact with any one of their agents and they will direct you on what information you need and when for booking your travel arrangements. Also, booking through their agency allows for a free change to your itinerary. For example, it’s always cheapest to book a round trip ticket. But, when you don’t know your exact return date, it was recommended to have the return date at around 8 weeks from the date of departure (it shouldn’t take 8 weeks) so that you can use your free change to move your return flight at your convenience. Also, once you have your adopted children’s passports, you would call Golden Rule or email them (they are great about emailing in a fast manner) this information so that they could book your children’s return flights along with updating your return flight.

If you choose to use one of the online services, you will need to check and see what the fees are for changing your return flights. There is no way to determine your return date and so this fee would be inevitable. Even with this fee, the online service might be cheaper overall and I would encourage you to compare. Just keep in mind that you will have to book last minute flights for your children that match your itinerary.

Another option to look into is booking directly with an airline. Most all airlines offer adoption fares. The fares are discounted on average to around 30% and all you need to do is provide a few copies of documents proving that you are adopting oversees. The downside to this is that you are stuck using this airline to complete your entire trip. This matters because in most oversees flights, it is much more economical when you are able to make 1 to 2 connection flights. The travel agency and online sites check multiple airlines for the cheapest flights and most always you will be using more than one airline. However, if you limit yourself to just that one airline than you are subject to use only their flights which may not necessarily be the cheapest. In the end, you might still pay more even though you received their discount. I hope this makes sense.

You will not need to book your flights until you receive your SDA appointment date. Once that date is received (not be confused with your dossier submission date) then immediately book your flights. The closer you are to your travel date, unfortunately the more expensive the flights will be.

Life Book

A Life Book is always recommended and will be of great assistance in trying to establish your child’s identity. Establishing your child’s identity is crucial in facilitating their development skills, leading into proper attachment with you and your spouse. This is explained very thoroughly, along with tips on how to facilitate this in the book above called, “Parenting Your Internationally Adopted Child” by, Patty Cogen. In my opinion, this book is a MUST READ for parents with adopted children.

It is recommended that one is started as soon as you began this process. Before you send your dossier to Ukraine, fan out the entire stack of papers and take a picture. It is a great photo to have when putting your child’s Life Book together. Other great photos to have are of all the government building/entities you had to use in order to put your dossier together. I would even try to take a photo of you mailing your dossier at DHL. These are important steps in the process of bringing home your child to create your family.

Family Photo Book

Create this before you leave for Ukraine and take it with you to each orphanage visit. I don’t remember who told us to do this. But I saw it somewhere and thought it was a great idea. Your children will be involuntarily forced into a new world with you. While this sounds harsh, it is the reality. It is the struggle before the victory, the victory being a unified and loving family. One way you can ease that transition is to create a photo book of your house, family, and pets. Under each write the captions in English, as well as how you would say it if speaking Russian. For example:

[Photo of Grandma and Grandpa]

This is your Grandma. “Ett-a  tvy-AH  BAH-boosh-ka.”

This is your Grandpa. “Ett-a  TVOY  DYEH-doosh-ka.”

(The syllable in caps is the syllable that is stressed.)

This will familiarize your child (regardless of age) of their new home and also allow them to begin hearing English and what it translates to. It is supposed to help with the transition.

Sight-Seeing in Kyiv, Ukraine

Believe it or not, but you will have a lot of downtime. Bring a few books that you want to get through for both the flight and during this downtime. Bring DVD’s from home and plan to watch them on your computer because many times DVD players are not available in apartments. Not to mention, our DVD’s are not the same region as their DVD players and will not play. Whatever hobbies you have that can be easily transported are also good ways to pass the time.

Sight-seeing is a must do! It could be difficult if you don’t know what to go see. But I can give you some ideas:

This website will give you some ideas: http://www.bestofukraine.com/

Famous Churches:

Mykhailivskyy Cathedral

Church of St. Volodymyr

St. Andrew’s Cathedral (this is right next to the SDA building)

Kievo-Pechersk Lavra

Bogoroditsa Pirogoscha

More churches listed at this site: (ignore the ads on this page)

http://www.tryukraine.com/photos/kiev/churches.shtml

Kyiv Parks:

There are many and unfortunately, I couldn’t find a detailed list. But one that would be beautiful in the spring is the Botanical Garden.

The Dnipro River is also worth visiting. There are islands that you can walk to via bridges. However, I wouldn’t swim in this river for a lengthy time because there are concerns over its radiation levels from Chernobyl. Chernobyl is upstream from Kyiv.

http://www.tryukraine.com/photos/kiev/nature.shtml

Kyiv City:

There are so many places to mention and I don’t want to give you my biased opinion. This website has everything listed, plus more. I would definitely walk to Independence Square and down Khreschatyk Street on a Sunday because the road is blocked off from traffic. It is quite an experience and definitely worth taking a stroll. There are many stores to visit as well.

Explore anything you come across. For example, at Independence Square is a mall behind the glass structure.

Underneath Khreschatyk is an underground mall that links into the Metro.

http://www.tryukraine.com/photos/kiev/city.shtml

Medical Referral in Ukraine

Many adoptive families have used this doctor while in Ukraine. Most facilitators have worked with him. He is Ukrainian and speaks very clear English. You can ask for referrals on a Yahoo group called, “Adoption_from_Ukraine.”

His info is:

Dr. Yuriy Bezdverny, M.D.; Ph.D.
Private Medical Practitioner - Kyiv, Ukraine
380-44-566-3303 home telephone
380-50-469-5523 cell phone
email: ybezdverny@km.ru

http://www.adoptmed service.com/ contact.htm

Visiting the Orphanage

I hope that before your first visit, you have read at least one book about internationally adopted children. If you have, you will understand the first meeting and why it probably will not be as you dream it; at least you should hope so. What I mean is that it is a good sign if your child wants nothing to do with you. For a young child, if they cry or start into a tantrum it is a great sign! For an older child, if they are standoffish, all of this is great! Why? This means that they trust and are at least somewhat attached to their caregivers. If they are at all attached to their caregiver, this means that they will attach to you. A child wanting your attention right away and being overly attentive and nice to you is an unattached child. Of course, all this can be corrected if you learn how to- which is why I highly recommend reading EVERYTHING you can get your hands that has to do with international adoption and parenting adopted children. I say this because the dream of you seeing each other and experiencing love-at-first-sight is not the ideal scenario.

Your first visit you will be taken by your facilitator to become familiar with the staff and the child. Do not bring anything this day except maybe that stuffed animal or initial gift for the child. Video and photograph this first meeting, regardless of how it all plays out because it is still an important chapter in your family’s life.

Usually, the second meeting is when you will meet with the child’s orphanage director and their doctor. At this time you will be given an opportunity to ask all the questions you have. If this is not the situation, make sure you receive a clear answer of when you will be able to ask your questions. I will provide a sample list of questions that I have compiled through reading and research. This second day is also when the orphanage may allow you to bring snacks in for the children. Do not bring snacks in without permission as the children are on a strict eating schedule. With older children this may not matter.

You will have many visits that are just you and your spouse bonding with your children.

Either the day before your child is picked up or the day of, some orphanages allow you to have a mini-party for your child’s going home. Celebrate this if given the opportunity. You will be able to bring snacks and other goodies for the children in the group. At this time you will also bring the gifts for the caregivers and orphanage director.

Take many, many pictures of all the locations of the orphanage. Photograph where they eat, sleep, and do all of their business. During each visit take as many photos and as much video as you can. If you have internet, share these photos with your family via your blog, email, or even Facebook. It was very comforting for my family to see our progress and to see their new family member.